Frank & Candid Divorce Info

Question: How the court decides which parent will have more parenting time.

Answer:

Children are not spoils of war.

In 1986, Mr. Kulerski was appointed by the Bar Relations Subcommittee of the Domestic Relations Advisory Committee of the Domestic Relations Division of the Circuit Court of Cook County to serve as an Attorney for the Child and as a Guardian ad Litem. Subsequently , he was appointed by the Court to represent the children in more than forty different, contested custody or visitation cases and has also represented many clients in various custody and visitation cases. Our Divorce Act mandates the Court to determine the best interests of the children in deciding wihch parent will have more parenting time. It is Mr. Kulerski's belief that the following list of questions provides an excellent guide to the basic criteria that the court will apply.

Spouses that organized their lives together should be given a chance to arrange their lives apart from one another.

Who gets what used to be called "Custody"?

• Who gets the child up in the morning?
• Who dresses child?
• Who fixes child's breakfast?
• Who makes lunches
• Who drives to school/day care?
• Who knows sizes of clothing, shoes?
• Who knows names and addresses of child's doctors/ health care providers?
• Who takes child to doctor, dentist, etc.?
• Who prepares dinners?
• Who shops for the child?
• Who helps child with homework?
• Who attends school conferences? What are the teacher's names?
• Who attends school programs/PTO meetings, etc.?
• Who goes on field trips?
• Who signs report cards?
• Who reads to child? What books?
• Who plays games with child? What games?
• Who knows names of child's best friends?
• Who attends child's sporting/ extracurricular activities?
• Who coaches?
• Who drives for events?
• Who bathes the child?
• Who helps with toilet training?
• Who puts child to bed?
• To whom does child go when hurt, when wakes up in the middle of the night, when sick?
• Who takes child for haircuts?
• Who takes child to scout meetings/ Who is scout master?
• Who stays home when child is sick?
• Who takes child to church, Sunday school, etc.?
• Who supervises child's household chores?
• Who supervises television watching, movies, attended, etc.?
• Who talks to child about problems?

The reward for being a responsible parent should be the responsibility of parenting.

New Name for Custody

Our Custody law in Illinois is expected to change in the early part of 2005 to eliminate the terms "custody," "visitation," "sole custody," "joint custody". The new law substitutes the term "parenting time" in place of all former designations.

The use of parenting time incorporates the philosophy that both parents remain in the status of parents subsequent to the dissolution. Under the new statute, there is an allocation of not only parenting time, but allocation of parental responsibilities. If the parties are unable to agree, the statute gives the courts the flexibility to establish parenting responsibilities among the parents such that no parent is left out in the cold when it comes to parenting their children. The new statues will hopefully eliminate the concept of wining or losing in a custody battle when most people involved in such litigation recognize that the only guaranteed losers are the children.

The courts in the new statute are given better guidelines to establish parenting times by infusing realistic criteria into the statute to be used to determine what is best for the children. The criteria established in the new statute is set about to allow the parties and/or the court to realistically assess the appropriate parenting time for each party and the allocation of responsibilities. Some examples of the new statutory provisions the court would use are:

An emphasis on the willingness and ability of each party to place the needs of the child ahead of their own needs.

Whether the past pattern of involvement of the parties with the child reflects a system of values, time commitment and mutual support.

The new statute encourages agreement between the parties without the distasteful labeling of parents as custodial or non-custodial parents. The new statute also addresses societal changes that are not currently embodied in the existing legislation. Children are now involved with persons acting with the capacity of a parent but who are not their biological parent. The courts now must address issues concerning stepparents who have developed strong relationships with children of their partner; unmarried couples residing together and raising the children of divorced parents; and same-sex partners acting in the capacity of residential parents to the children. The new statute embodies a mechanism for a court to address issues created by persons acting in the capacity of parents toward children even though they are not the biological parents.

The statute also seeks to remedy problems that have developed by the mobility of society in addressing the problems associated with parenting time and responsibilities when children move intrastate or interstate. Enforcement provisions have been enhanced and an overall theme of parental involvement, cooperation and agreement have been infused throughout the statute.

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